Winter Winds
by FloodedLungs
Summary: With Clare and Imogen befriending each other, along with Jake and Eli, things seem almost normal. But when Imogen finds Clare's notebook in Eli's car, she gets jealous. And when Clare tries to make things better, she realizes maybe she doesn't want to.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of it's characters.**

**Well it's my first time using fan and writing Degrassi fanfic. I've mostly written banfics but lately it's mostly been original fiction. But I've been craving to write some fanfic so I may be a bit rusty, but hopefully this will give some justice.**

The wind picked up once more, a chilly blast through Toronto. It was especially cold near Degrassi High where, to be frank, a pissed off Clare Edwards stood. Her arms crossed her chest, trying to keep warm but it wasn't helping. The school uniform which consisted of a pair of khakis, a polo shirt, and a very thin cardigan helped not one bit against the winter air.

It was the second time this week her mother had forgotten to pick her up from school. _I bet she's off gallivanting with _another _guy_, Clare thought to herself. Lately her mother had been coming home in the early hours of the morning and sleeping till the afternoon. Clare didn't even know if her mother was going to work anymore. It was getting really bad and she couldn't do a thing about it.

Clare cursed at herself for not accepting Jake's invitation for a ride home.

"Oh my mother will be here in no time. Really don't worry about me. I know you have to go work with your dad today," she said with a genuine smile.

She regretted it now though as the wind picked up once more. She looked down the road, trying to spot her mother's car but there was nothing to be seen. Suddenly, a car drove around the corner, and drove right to the school entrance, stopping right in front of Clare. She grabbed her cell phone tightly in her pocket, her heart beating faster. She had no clue who's car it was and it was quite strange for them to park _right _in front of Clare.

The window rolled down and to Clare's relief (well not exactly) she saw Eli's face. He gave her a smile and said, "What are you doing out in this weather? It's freezing!"

"Oh my mom's just a little late that's all," she said awkwardly. Even though Eli and Clare had amended their relationship, being able to be at least civil with each other now, things were still a bit tense. The only time Clare really interacted with Eli is when she hung out with Imogen at school. Surpringly both girls turned out be good friends. Even Eli and Jake got along well. But things were still a bit rocky with Clare and Eli although nobody else really noticed.

"You need a ride home?" He asked.

She shook her head and shrugged. "She'll be coming sooner or later. It's okay, really."

Eli gave her a smug look. "Come on. Stop being modest. You're right around the block from where I'm going. It's no trouble at all."

"Really it's fine Eli," Clare said, starring down at her shoes.

"I'm not leaving until you get into this car," Eli said, putting the car into park and crossing his arms.

"Well you'll be waiting there for another ten minutes until my mother comes," Clare said defiantly.

"And what happens when she doesn't come in ten minutes and three of your fingers are frozen solid?" Eli said with a lop sided grin.

"Well I guess we'll never find out because my mother _is _coming."

"Tick tock, Clare. Tick tock. You know I'm not gonna leave. When do I ever turn down a challenge."

Clare rolled her eyes. It was as if they were an old married couple, the way they were bickering. It was almost like they were dating again. She shook her head at the thought.

"Fine! I'll get into the darn car," Clare said defeated.

Eli had a cocky look of victory on his face as he leaned over and opened the passenger door. Clare climbed instead, sitting as close to the heater as possible. The car felt ten times better than it did outside but she wasn't going to admit that.

Eli put the car in drive and drove away from Degrassi. They drove in silence for the first five minutes, until they stopped at a stop light. An awkward silence passed until Eli spoke.

"So uhm, was there a newspaper meeting today? I mean is that why you were still there after school?" Eli asked, running a hand through his hair.

"Oh no. I've just been waiting for my mom." Clare said, looking down at her lap.

"ALL THIS TIME?"

"She was late on Monday too. Although last time she was only a half hour late. I just assumed she was running an hour or so late this time."

"Why didn't you just call somebody? I'm sure Jake could of given you a ride home," Eli said, shaking his head.

"He was working today so I didn't want to bother him. Really it's not a big deal. It wasn't that cold."

"And I'm the queen of England. Come on Clare, it's so cold it could start snowing any minute," he said rolling his eyes.

Clare gave a chuckle at that and as if it were out of a movie, a single snowflake fell onto the windshield. A few more flurries fell, melting onto the car.

"Holy-" Eli started, but stopped when Clare shot him a look for swearing.

"You may not be the queen of England but apparently you're a weather man now," Clare said with a laugh. Eli chuckled too, the light turning green.

They continued their way, only a few blocks from Clare's house. The awkward silence had suddenly vanished, and Clare actually felt somewhat comfortable.

"So who's car is this?" she asked.

"Oh it's my dad's. He starting to trust me now so he's letting me use it to go pick up a few comics down at the comic store."

Clare cringed as she thought of Eli smashing his hearse through a wall. She shook away the thought.

Eli pulled up to Clare's house, and Clare said, "Well thanks for the ride. Although I don't want to admit it, it was a lot better than standing in the cold," she smiled.

"Well it's good to know I'm not that repulsive," Eli laughed.

"Psssh," Clare chuckled, lightly punching him on the shoulder. She looked down at her hand, realizing the action was a bit too friendly and put her hands in her lap.

"Well if you ever need a ride, don't hesitate to call. I don't mind," Eli said, breaking the silence."

"Thanks." With that Clare gathered her bag, opened the door, and made her way towards her house. Once she was inside, Eli drove away, not realizing the small smile on his face. Clare didn't even realize the smile on her face either.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi nor any of it's characters.**

**If any of you were wondering, the story is named after the song **_**Winter Winds**_** by Mumford and Sons which is an absolutely lovely song. I'm not exactly sure if it fit's the story completely, but a couple verses definitely do. I've actually just written the first chapter about an hour ago, but I can't help myself so I'm gonna get the 2****nd**** chapter over with so you all don't have to wait long for an update. Also, if you're into HP, I've just started a story that I'm quite excited for so check it out. I've also just written a CAKE one-shot too if you wanna read. But anyways, thankyou for all the reviews/favoriting/etc. I'm glad you like it so far!**

It was Friday morning and Eli pulled up to Imogen's house, picking her up for school. Bullfrog had said that since it was such a nice day that Eli could take the car to school. He was finally seeing more and more of the "old" Eli and that gave him peace of mind.

"Hello Mr. Goldsworthy," Imogen smiled, climbing into to the car. She gave Eli a kiss on the cheek before buckling herself in.

"Hello Miss Moreno," he said with a grin.

"You seem quite cheery this morning. Which Eli Goldsworthy is _not _a morning person," Imogen said, giving him a playful accusing look.

"What can I say. It's a beautiful day. It's Friday. And my dad loaned me the car. And it's not even eight yet," he said with his signature lop sided grin.

Eli put the car back into drive, heading off towards Degrassi. It was just as cold or even colder than the day before. But there wasn't much of a breeze which made it just a tad better.

"I wrote a report on time travel through the ages for English. You think you can read it over for me at lunch?" Imogen asked.

"Sure, no problem," Eli said, stopping at a red light.

"It's somewhere in here," she said, clawing her way through her messy bag.

"You should really clean that thing," he chuckled.

"Like you should be talking. Have you seen your English binder? There's papers everywhere!" she laughed. The light turned green and Eli started to drive again, causing Imogen to drop her bag on the floor of the car.

"Shoot!" She started to quickly gather all of the papers that fell out and shoved them back in her bag, leaving them even more of a mess than before.

"Hey, what's this? One of your writing journals," Imogen said, a mischievous look in her eyes. She held a blue notebook in her hand, the pages filled with writing.

"Ahem," she said, opening to the first page, "Dear diary, there's a new kid at school. Eli-," she stopped realizing it definitely wasn't Eli's journal.

Her eyes scanned the pages, her hands gripping the notebook quite harder than normal.

"Why do you have Clare Edwards diary lying on the floor of your car?" Imogen asked, concerned.

"Oh I gave Clare a ride home yesterday. I guess he left it behind," Eli said, nonchalantly.

"But I thought you couldn't give me a ride home yesterday," Imogen asked, her voice getting angry.

"I couldn't. I drove be Degrassi an hour and half after school cause my dad let me have the car and she was standing in the cold so I offered her a ride home," he shrugged.

Imogen starred at him out of slit shaped eyes. "Eli Goldsworthy, this sounds like a whole bunch of-"

"Hey now! Let's not swear," Eli said, giving a playful smile.

"You're the one with sailor's mouth!" She said, throwing her hands up in the air. She turned, her back facing Eli, starring out the window.

"Come on now. Why are you being like this.?" Eli said, reaching his hand out to caress Imogen's shoulder.

"I kept telling myself it wasn't true but it apparently is," she said, mumbling to herself.

"I'm right here you know," Eli said, parking the car in the school parking lot. "What's true?" he asked, completely confused and oblivious.

"That you're still not over Clare!" Imogen yelled. And with that she got out of the car, dramatically slamming the door and stomping her way towards Degrassi.

Eli sunk down into the car seat, covering his face with his hands. "Way to go, Goldsworthy," he mumbled. "You screwed it up. Again!" He had the terrible urge to hit something but fought against it. The pills were working, but his disorder still affected him. "Mind over matter, mind over matter," Eli repeated to himself. He had to be strong for him. Not for Imogen or Clare or anyone else. Just for him.

Eli removed his hands from his face and starred at the empty passenger seat. The blue notebook laying on the floor caught his eye and he reached over and picked it up.

_Don't read it. Don't read it_, Eli said to himself. His relationship with Clare was already awkward and tense. This would just make it worse.

_But how I can I not when it's sitting in my hands._ Eli opened up to the first page and read to himself:

_Dear Diary,_

_There's a new kid at school. Eli Goldsworthy is his name and for some reason, I just can't get him out of my mind. I hate him! The way he looks at me with that lop sided grin. He always has a cocky look on his face. And I almost fell for that 'pretty eyes' act. Please. He's just another K.C. I bet. But what if I'm wrong. What if I'm just overreacing. What if-_

"What are you doing with that!" Clare yelled, looking at me with horror.

**One last author's note. Hurricane Irene is coming which might **_**possibly **_**knock out my internet. So fingers crossed that you won't have to wait a couple days or so for an update! Thanks again for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi nor any of it's characters.**

**So Hurricane Irene is almost over and everything is okay over here so far. No major damage thankfully. I hope all my readers in the area are safe as well!**

**I just wanted to say thank you for everyone who has read so far. The reaction the story is getting is absolutely amazing from the reviews, to all the story alerts, etc. I'm thrilled you like it so much.**

**I'm actually pretty angry at the moment cause I **_**just **_**typed up the **_**whole **_**chapter and accidently closed the page instead of saving it. So I kind of want to punch something. Haha. Let's hope I can write the chapter just as well again. Enjoy!**

"Uhm, I, uhm, uh, I just found found," Eli stuttered, unable to get his thoughts, and his story, in order.

Clare stood, her fists at her side, her eyes closed. "How much of it did you read?" she said out of gritted teeth.

"Only the, uh, first page. I swear!" He said, holding out the notebook for her. She swiped it out of his hands, angrily stalking away towards the school.

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" Eli yelled, banging his fists against the dashboard. When he lifted his hands away, he saw he had a left a big dent, that was just about the size of his fist.

"This day is already a disaster and it's not even eight," he grunted. The first bell rang, informing him that it was eight.

"And late for class. Great," he mumbled.

Clare sat in her history class, gripped the diary in her hands. Her thoughts were flying and she felt as if she were going to throw up. _I can't believe he actually read it. The nerve of him!_ she thought to herself. _What if he read the last few pages? What if he knows that-_

Clare's thought process was interrupted by a test being placed on her desk. "Please put all your things away for the test," her History teacher said, continuing to the students behind her.

Clare had almost forgotten about the History test. And to be honest, it was the least of her worries for now. Thankfully she had taken enough notes the other day to hopefully at least get a B+ on this test. She hoped.

Eli sat in his chemistry class, his head pounding with a headache. His teacher who was droning on and on wasn't helping either. He wasn't sure if he was more worried about Imogen or Clare and that scared him.

The bell rang and Eli groaned. It was time for lunch which was the last place he wanted to be. He got out of his seat and walked as slow as possible to his locker. _Maybe I can just wander the hallways and skip lunch all together_, he smiled to himself. _But then they'd all know I'm a coward. Elijah Goldsworthy is not a coward._

He just prayed that Imogen and Clare didn't break anything up at the lunch table. He also prayed Jake didn't punch him. It's Degrassi and as we all know anything could happen. He begrudgingly closed his locker and made his way toward the cafeteria also known as hell.

Clare walked into the cafeteria, and sat down at her usual lunch table, the first one there. She sat down and picked at her fingernails, her anxiety still had not gone away. _What if he tries to talk to me privately about what he read? What if-_

Her thoughts were once again interrupted by her boyfriend Jake who gave her a smile, a kiss on the cheek and sat down next to her with his lunch.

"What's up?" he asked, digging into his food.

"Oh nothing," Clare said, still picking at her fingernails.

"Anything wrong? You seem a bit down today?"

"I, uhm, I'm just worried that I did bad on my history test today," she said, giving him a small smile. She _hated _lying to Jake but she couldn't tell him about the diary incident. At least not yet.

Eli opened the cafeteria doors, his heart pounding. He walked over to the table, Clare and Jake already sitting there. He sat opposite of them, giving them a "hey".

"Sup?" Jake asked, a fry in his hand. Clare gave Eli a small smile, still looking down at her hands.

"Nothing really. You?" he said, nonchalantly. At least he hoped he looked calm.

"Same. It's a boring Friday. It seems like the day is taking forever to be over with," Jake replied, eating another fry.

"Yeah I know. Have you uhm, seen Imogen yet?" Eli gulped.

"Nope. Maybe she's running late today."

"I guess so," Eli said with a bit of relief. Even if she was so mad she didn't want to sit with them, he was happy he was at least avoiding confrontation. For now.

The cafeteria doors opened and Imogen walked in, looking as nothing was wrong at all. She sat next to Eli, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Hey," she smiled.

"Hey," he said nervously. He wasn't sure if he should still prepare for an argument or not.

"Clare, you look _so_ nice today," Imogen said, smiling with a bit too much energy.

"Uh, thanks?" Clare said, a confused look on her face.

Jake noticed the awkward tension between everyone and mouthed "What's going on?" to Eli. Eli just shook his head and shrugged.

"I'm going to go and get some more fries," Jake said, getting up from the table.

"I'll come," Eli said quickly, jumping up and more than happy to join Jake.

"What's with the girls today? They're acting so weird?" Jake asked.

"I have no clue," Eli said. It was going to be a long day.

The girls sat alone at the table, Imogen interrupting the awkward silence. She moved over to sit next to Clare and held her hand.

"I really hate to break this to you," Imogen said.

"What?" Clare asked, her heart pounding. _Did Eli tell Imogen about the diary?_ she wondered. _Oh god, oh god, oh-_

"I was at the Dot last night and I saw Jake there," Imogen said slowly.

"What are you talking about? Jake was working with his dad on a construction project yesterday. He definitely wasn't at the dot."

"Well I saw Jake at the Dot," Imogen continued, "and he was with another girl I've never seen before. And then he- he," she stopped, unable to continue.

"He what?" Clare said frightened.

"He kissed the other girl before she got into a car. I'm so sorry Clare," Imogen said, tightly hugging Clare.

"Are you," Clare gulped, "Serious?"

"I wish I wasn't. I'm so, so sorry," she said, hugging Clare even tighter.

"I- I need to go to the bathroom," Clare said, quickly getting up from the table and rushing out of the cafeteria.

With a sweet smile, Imogen watched Clare leave. She opened up the girl's bag, taking out her diary and placing it into her own bag. She returned to her original seat, hands folded, her back straight, and a smile as big as can be.

**I sadly don't think this chapter is as good as the one I had previously written but I'm pretty sure I got all the major points across. My internet is still a bit wacky, going in and out with the wind, but hopefully I'll be able to update soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi nor any of it's characters.**

**I'll be honest now, I really don't have this chapter planned out at all. Even though I usually just develop the plot as I write, I usually have **_**somewhat **_**of an idea, but not this time. So excuse me if this comes out horrible. But who knows, maybe it'll be the best chapter yet. Haha.**

Imogen rushed through her front door, barely catching a fairly heirloom vase that fell when the door hit it. She quickly placed it back before running to her room upstairs, tripping on three stairs along the way.

She crashed into her bedroom door, it swinging wildly as she jumped onto her bed. She tore open her bag, and took out the diary. She held it like it was made of gold as she gently placed it down on her bed and opened up to a random page in the middle.

_Dear Diary,_

_That kiss. I can't stop thinking about it._

Imogen took a deep breath, feeling a river of emotions going through her body.

Jealousy.

Hurt.

Anger.

Confusion.

She closed her eyes, only to open them yet again to continue reading.

_It was so spontaneous and random; I loved it. I can still feel his lips upon mine, how they moved so gently. Never in a million years would I thought I would have feelings for Jake Martin of all people._

"Jake?" Imogen said out loud, confused. _And the whole time I thought she was talking about Eli._ "Phew".

Clare avoided Jake all day, trying to think of how she would confront him. _Would it be better to do it in person? Or maybe over the phone?_ When she finally did get home, after not talking to him all day since lunch, she tried calling his cell phone.

No answer.

She tried again an hour later.

No answer.

She tried again at eight p.m.

No answer.

That night, she cried herself to sleep.

Eli paced his room, back and forth, back and forth. He wondered who to call first, Clare or Imogen? The answer should have been obvious, mend the relationship with his girlfriend first. Maybe he was slightly angry with the way Imogen had acted, maybe he was scared. He called Clare.

It was nine p.m. and the phone rang, and rang, and ran.

No answer.

He sat down on his bed, wondering if he could avoid Imogen. Maybe he could just talk to her in school. Tell her that nothing happened. Which _was _true. But why did he feel guilty?

He called Imogen and she picked up on the third ring.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Uhm, hey, it's Eli."

"I know. There's a thing called caller ID you know," she snapped.

"Imogen, you _need _to know that _nothing_ happened between Clare and I," he said, calmly.

"Prove it," she said.

"Prove it?" Eli responded, confused. "How?"

"Swear to me you don't have _any _feelings for her," Imogen said, saying 'any' in a strong tone.

Silence.

"I mean, I did have a three month relationship with her. I _did_, key word did Imogen, before you start going off on me, love her. And I'll probably always have feelings for her. But, they're… different feelings now."

After a few moments of no talking, Imogen spoke up. "You know she doesn't love you."

"I know that. She loves Jake now."

"No, I mean, she doesn't love you anymore at _all._ She _despises _you."

"Despise? That's kind of a strong word. I mean sure, our friendship is a little rocky but I don't think she _despises _me."

"Oh, Eli, you have no idea," Imogen said, before hanging up.

_What did she mean by that?_, Eli thought to himself.

Imogen hung up the phone, a single tear falling down her cheek.

_And I'll probably always have feelings for her_

_And I'll probably always have feelings for her_

_And I'll probably always have feelings for her_

The words spun around her head, repeating over and over again like a broken record.

She grabbed a pen and started writing,

_I'm so happy for once. Do you know why? I have absolutely __no__ feelings for Eli._

_None. Zilch. Zero._

_Well, actually I'm lying when I say I have _no _feelings for Eli._

_I _hate _him. I hate him with a passion._

_I hate him with everything I am._

_I hate Elijah Goldsworthy._

A single tear drop fell onto the page before put it aside and into her bag.

She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

The next day, Eli's dad dropped him off at school. Bullfrog noticed the glum look on his son's face and asked, "What's wrong?"

Eli gave a small smile before replying, "Oh, I just have a lot of schoolwork. It's nothing really."

"Are you sure?" His dad asked concerned. "You are taking your medication, right?"

"Yes dad. Those days of not taking my pills are long gone. It's really nothing. I promise," Eli said, trying to show his most passionate face.

"Okay then. Well if you feel, well you know, call me or the therapist or go down to the nurse, okay?"

"Okay."

Bullfrog pulled away, Eli heading up the stairs to the school entrance. He was stopped by Imogen who ran up to him, a big smile on his face.

"Hey," she smiled.

"…Hey," he said, cautiously.

"I think you should read this," Imogen said. She reached into her bag and pulled out a notebook, skipping to the last page.

He took it and read,

_I'm so happy for once. Do you know why? I have absolutely __no__ feelings for Eli._

_None. Zilch. Zero._

_Well, actually I'm lying when I say I have _no _feelings for Eli._

_I _hate _him. I hate him with a passion._

_I hate him with everything I am._

_I hate Elijah Goldsworthy._

"W-What-What is this?"

"Look at the cover for yourself," she said, smiling sweetly.

Eli closed the notebook, and immediately recognized it as Clare's diary.

"Why do you have this?"

"She left it at lunch yesterday and I've been meaning to give it back to her. Just like you were. Coincidental, eh?"

"But I didn't read it!" Eli yelled.

"Well I just _accidentally _dropped it on the way home yesterday and it opened up to that page. And well, I couldn't help myself," she shrugged.

"You happened to open up to _this_ page?" he said, in unbelief.

"Yeah. And you didn't believe me and I didn't want you to keep continuing on thinking you had a chance with Clare or something. I'm trying to help you Eli."

"Help me? This is supposed to help me?" he screamed.

"Eli, calm down," she said in a hushed tone.

Eli threw down the diary at Imogen's feet, slamming the door as he stalked into the hallway.


End file.
